Teenager's Dilemma: The Pressure Of Adulthood

On my way out for an official engagement last-week, I got a chat message from one of my very young friend who happens to be a teenager, that his 18th birthday is just around and there's a mixed feelings of excitement as well as anxiety about "what happens next?"

Photo Credit: EAphotoMedia

The following conversation later ensued while I was on the BRT bus enroute from Ikorodu to Ojota.

HIS QUESTION:

Please, I have a question to ask you, "how do I start my adulthood life now that am about clocking 18yrs?"

MY RESPONSE:

There's no one perfect answer to this question, however there are certain advice and guidelines I can suggest.

Consider a few of this things as part of your priority and long term commitment if truly you desire to grow into a positive adult:

1.) Put your relationship with GOD above everything else. Learn to enjoy and engage yourself in prayer, daily devotion and spiritual activities.

2.) Learn to build positive interaction with your parents and siblings. Don't take your family for granted for any reason. Love and value them.

3.) Cultivate the culture of conscious learning. Be deliberate about what you read, what you watch and who or what you listen to. Focus on only those things that will make you smart and intellectually equipped at every point in time.

QUESTION:

Thank you. But is it okay for me to have a girlfriend now?

MY RESPONSE:

Talking about relationship, the answer can be a little tricky. Age is actually one of the least criteria for determining who or when it's right to go into a relationship. There are several other critical questions you need to ask yourself. I mean questions like:

* Why do I need a girlfriend?

* What do I want in/from her?

* Will our relationship be a secret or open affair?

* What are the possible dangers of relationships?

* Am I emotional strong enough to withstand sexual pressure?

* Will my parent give their consent to our relationship?

* What impact would the relationship have on my academics, spirituality and emotion? Good or Bad?

HIS FEEDBACK:

Oh really! These questions will be very useful. Thank you and God bless.

IN CONCLUSION

Thinking back to this conversation reminded me of the several questions that bothered my mind growing as a teenager without any advantage of having someone to talk to about it. My peers in school were of no good and as far as I was concerned, we are confronted by the same dilemma, so what's the point asking a lost traveler to show you the right way. 😏

Perhaps, as an adult, I think I owe the next generation a duty of guiding and leading them aright with timely advice and mentoring such that they don't get to repeat my mistakes or suffer the emotional traumas I went through trying to navigate my way from 'teenhood' to adulthood.

It is not enough to condemn and criticize this generation of young people as being lazy, perverts and misguided, while we sit back and do nothing. All you need is to mentor one person, and if each one of us mentors one, we can in no distant time turn things around and create a better future for the youths.

Let's take a cue from people like Teajay Chunu (StepUp Africa), Johnson Abbaly (Rites of Passage Nigeria), Tosin Taiwo (Street to School Initiative), Raquel Jacobs (Beyond The Classroom Project), Ezekiel Akinrinade (Author, Success Equation), Mutiat Olagoke (Kiddies Digest Magazine), Jamiu Akangbe (African Resourcesful Leaders Foundation), Isaac Success (Slum to School Initiative), Praise Fowowe, and countless number of others who are daily giving their all to ensure the next generation does not fall into error.

Aside from working with a handful of organizations, both local and international, as a volunteer, I have for over eight years being serving as the Director of Projects & Publicity for African ResourcefuI Leaders Foundation (ARLFoundation) with verifiable record of directly impact reaching thousands of young people, especially teenagers in the secondary school students often with the support of the Lagos State Ministry of Education.

You may not be able to start off a large scale mentoring program on your own, but you can start by leveraging on existing organizations simply by volunteering your time, knowledge and resources to support what they do.

Take for instance, almost every weekend I mentor a small group of teenagers and children having signed up as a volunteer programs manager with LORD's Heritage Foundation (a faith based community NGO) in Asolo-Isawo community of Ikorodu, Lagos.

Go ahead and start something similar in your community or team up as a partner with LORD's Heritage Foundation to supporting the community children in one way or another. Call me and let's talk via +2348027701092 (available on WhatsApp) or +2347035051509.

Written by:

Ebenezer O. Akinrinade

[Carrington Fellow * Social Worker * Writer * Photographer]

Tw: @gent2smile // @EbenAkinrinade

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